Monday, November 30, 2009

the monkeys

we had a long weekend.. it was supposed to be the Eidul-Adha celebration, but i guess, not having my hubby around, not planning for qurban, not performing the haj .. yet.. we took it as a little bit of long break.
so, to start the day of piling works will need a lot of motivation and energy. and at the moment.. and for the rest of my life.. that will take a while.
lemme start chat session with talking about work.. so many things to talk about.. or, if i may, the complaint list will be endless.. hence, i must be very careful to post this subject, just to ensure that it won't kill me back.. of course i have tonnes and tonnes to complaint about my work.. but, i still need my work. especially when my credit cards will definitely be in the 5-10% region reaching its limits.with that, i still need my monthly income.

it's funny some-how people like us, like most of my friends and myself, live to work instead of work to live .. my hubby sacrifices the times & distances for work.. one good friend of mine works miles away from home ten years ago, and no intention of coming back to Malaysia.. two good friends of mine clearly told the boss they would never take up the management post and doesn't mind staying as the seniors, just because.. and the other two chics just wonder why their performance were rated by the numbers of incoming emails... the list goes on..

and the boss, that would be another story.. they keep saying they understand where we are coming from, somehow, we knew best what they meant.. towards end of the year, their favourite suddenly were having piling of undone jobs.. they are just overloaded... and they are trying to cope their very best.. and that justify the big lump sum of increment and bonuses.. yarrr rrigghtt.. when talking about their favourite, the ass-kissers, they would say 'overloaded'.. when talking about the others. they would say 'inefficient'..

talking about thousand and one personalities that we have to deal with while working.. definitely would be endless.. the 'old maid' who will always be there smiling, showing off her big fat ass, the 'i'm-untouchable-so-that-i-can-just-throw-tantrums-to-anybody', the 'slow' and 'steady' personnel, the jack-ass, the 'everybody-is-so-free-except-me'.. and again, we all know the list is endless..

at the end of the day, when the day comes to evaluate the so-called 'performance review'.. if you are not in his list, you will always be the under-achievers, and if you are, you will always be the shining pin-ups.. the easiest way?.. dream on and work.. if you care so much.

Monday, November 23, 2009

without boundaries

bear with me.. i'm gonna chat about love again.. i guess i am so full of it that i want to share it.. talking about sharing love, i don't intend to elaborate on polygamy, mind you..all i'm thinking of was the conversation my litle boy had with his grandma last night..

i was telling him that gramps bought a nice party-princess dress for edleen's birthday... and he asked me if he's getting any since we are planning for a joint-december-party (side note: i'm not inviting my buddies to the party.. i had a 'massive' one last month, and want to have just 'family only' occasion.. so, no hard feeling, huh..) (another side note: i guess you guys are happy for not getting the invitation as my expectation on the gift would be fisher-price and above..) (more side note: if you guys insists, do text me.. i'll reserved a seat .. it's only gonna be at McD)...hmm.. this is really me.. i wanted to talk about something else, and this whole paragraph has been dragged talking about the party and invites..bla, bla, bla..

back to that conversation between the elder grandson with his grandma.. he was asking her gramp, why didn't he get new clothing as well.. he said he went to KL quite often, visiting his gramps, but why did his cousin got the new dress and he did not?... he end the conversation by 'threatening' his gramp telling he's won't be visiting them in future.. and mind you, he is only four next month, and i swear that does not come from his mum!

my parents, so far, are blessed with three grandkids.. two of mine, and one of my brother's... and they love them the same... i can rest-assured that. they bought expensive dress for edleen, but they also bought motorized bike that cost RM300 for the grandsons.. so, who am i to complaint..

but i wonder.. we, as parents, love our kids, unconditionally.. but i guess, as human being, we tend to forget..don't have to go any further, as this is my fifth posting, i guess, all i talk about is aidan, leaving all the small cute little things that aimar been doing.. so, does that means i love aidan more than aimar? if you asked me, i would definitely say NO.. i love them equally.. without boundaries.. they are both smart in their own ways.. but, sometimes, these small little acts of mine may be mis-interpret..

i always think my mum loves her only son more than both of her girls.. i always think my aunt, momi, loves her model-look-a-like elder daughter and her only son, but love her okay-okay second daughter lesser..(but no doubt kak ita loves aidan more than aimar... don't try to deny that).. reminiscing the small discussion we had back in melaka,i was so mad back then when my other aunt, mum, was telling that my dad wanted to throw a birthday party for edleen in december.. not that i have anything against edleen.. it just that at that moment, i was so busy discussing about aimar's birthday, and these news popped out.. of course i deserved to be mad.. at that instance, i just thought my dad loves edleen more than both my son..

but i guess, we keep forgetting.. the love is always there to be shared, to be given away, to be felt.. we just want any thing that is convinience to us.. if they didn't buy nice things to us, they didn't love us enough.. if he forgot the important dates in our life, he loves us less (..but now, he is smart.. he put in the phone reminders.. technologies..).. if she didn't talk much about them, she forgotten about them.. i guess, we must keep reminding ourself that as long as we called ourselves 'families' (no matter if we share the same DNAs or time made us families), the love is always there, without limits.. once a while, we as families will forget to show them... so, don't afraid to ask for it.. 

Thursday, November 19, 2009

suddenly, he's in love

it's the last day of school.. aidan will be with mak wan's for the time being.. i've arranged 'pre-birthday' party for aidan as he always wanted to have a birthday party with his friends... and thanks to McDonald Kerteh.. they came all the way to help me with the food, the game and best thing was Grimace the mascot. the party was fun.. aidan loved it, and so my dear aimar.. he was running and playing with the kids.. it was simple and yet fun...

and there was aleya.. when aidan started going to the school, pn ros was telling me that 'kak aleya is always there to help aidan'.. she did.. most of the time, when aidan went to the school, it would be aleya who came out and helped him with taking off his shoes and carrying his was aleya who helped him with his dishes etc.. and i started the rumours that aleya was his girlfriend.. and aidan, the first time we teased him, he was showing tantrums... but then, in times, he was smiling whenever we mentioned 'aleya'..and today, when i asked him to take photo with aleya, he shy away..... and i just knew he's in love..

i don't remember being in love at that early age. i doubt aidan will..but if he happen to read this when he is twenty, he'll thank me for reminding.. to me, aidan felt so close to aleya as she's always there to help him out.. yes, he doesn't want his friend to notice that, but, he doesn't mind having aleya at his conviniences... so, boys will be boys... when he grow up, he will open his heart to a beautiful girl (mind you, aleya is not bad looking out of all the choices he has,ok), to a girl who has been helping him a lot, and of course to a girl who he just can't stop from smiling whenever her name was mentioned... he'll find his love.. and at then end of the road.. there is his mother... 

being classy me.. i want my sons to have the best out of everything.. including the girl they suppose to pick as thequeen of their heart (mind you, i'm the queen of their heart, not any other girl).. and i wonder if i were to turned up like their nanny who is now still denying the fact that her lovely beautiful daughter is falling in love with this guy who she thinks too short for her and doesn't suit her model look-a-like daughter. ... or will i end up like my mum, everything is fine... and sometime, it bugged me (a lot) when she just doesn't care about her daughter-in-law...

but for the time being, i guess, i'll just share the moments.. that look of happiness when we mentioned aleya's name and aidan was widely smiling..

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

measuring distance

They said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.. i want to correct that.. it's not really the absence, but the distance.. at least, that would be my case.. with distance, i just realized, i miss him so much, i want him so badly, i need him with just a phone call away..and when i knew the only fulfillment that i will get is just a plain "how i wish", i went blank.

The light in the bathroom were blinking non-stop every microsecond. I knew that the least I need to do is to go to the shop, buy the bulb and the starter and mend it.. And of course, I can call my in-laws asking for help.. And even a polite request for a favour from my neighbour won't cost any of us a dime.. Somehow, all i want is him..

The car was making funny noises when i ran the engine. He would know better,but he's not here with me. Somehow all i want is him..

This morning, at the eleventh-hour, i've decided to plan for Aidan's year-end party at his school .. i wish i could pick up the phone and tell him my plan was...and i suddenly having doubts to go-ahead with the plan... organizing the party, without him around, should not be the way it is.. but, i know Aidan really wanted to have the party before the school end (which would be this Thursday) and i just can't wait for him (or even can't wait for Aidan's real birthday)... Somehow, all I want is him..

Ok, my hubby is not dead.. he's away... a 60-hour away from home, working for the monthly earnings.. he pays for almost everything.. me, i spend all my monthly salary, and still asked money from him..hence, to take up the 28-days onshore and the next 28-days (minus 5 days of travelling time) seems viable when he landed the offer two months ago.. i was supposed to be very independent.. when aidan was less than two years old, and i was heavily pregnant, i can drove all the way from Kemaman to KL, just because i know i am very independent... and i am still independent.. Somehow, all I want is him..

If only i could fast-forward the time when he's offshore, and slow down the seconds when he's back home... If only i could make the distance nearer.. If only i could just pick up the phone and call him whenever..

Hurry back .. please..

Friday, November 13, 2009

school criteria: don't call him Aidang!

His teacher gave one red folder compiling all his works that he had done throughout the year. I had a long look on the drawing and couldn't figure out what was it all about. I asked him.. wittingly he answered "Aidan draw beach.. ".. and he explained further.. The blue line is the ocean, the red is the sand, the yellow is the sun, the blue is the cloud and it is raining, the brown is the tree... the drawing is complete. He is only four this coming December.. Early this year, it took me three months to find an o-kay school for him to go to. It wasn't easy.. For the first three years of his life, he was with his sitter, Mak Wan, and he was looking forward excitedly to go to school when I throw him that idea. I told him when he was three that he needed to be potty-trained if he wanted to go to school.. and it took determination and one month for him to be potty-trained.
I was scouting for good school in  Kemaman. His name is Aidan, and if possible, I would like him to go to a school where the teacher can correctly pronounce his name as Aidan instead of Aidang! It is very vain of me.. hey, I'm a "Classy Chic" and I need to maintain that. I was born and breed in KL - the KL chic - and when now and then people find out that I'm in Kemaman, I'm sure the next question that crossed in their mine "what the heck she is doing there? can she survived?".. okay.. that would be a different chat session.. as for now, i want to write more about my lovely elder son..

So, in March, I found this one Montesorri school.. costing me an annual fees of RM1,700 (even when he started in March rather than January) and a monthly fee of RM250 (even when he surely missed a lot of his Sunday class because Mama decided to have an extra hour of sleep, and he missed few weeks of school when Mama need to travel to KL for work) is quite expensive for a school in Kemamang... somehow, I just thought this is best for him.. and he loves when he knew he finally going to school. The school fits my criteria.. he will have Pak-De to bring him back from school to the sitter's house riding trishaw - interesting huh.. Everybody in KL was laughing cynically when I told them Aidan ride on a trishaw from his school to Mak Wan's. And that cost me RM50.. Not because he fix the charges, I just don't have a heart to give less when I knew Aidan is well taken care of.

The school is ok.. Not that I have much choices. Aidan best friend's is Haikal.. and the teacher told me Alia, the 6-year-old student always like to take care of him.. which end up, everybody was teasing him having a girlfriend named Alia...He sometimes shy away when we mentioned Alia, but he sometimes smiles and feel good about it.

There was one time, while watching cartoon at night, he blurt out that he was 'caned' by the teacher.. I was surprised... Not that I was mad at the teacher, but that was not like Aidan. He normally told me Danish got caned, Ming Shuen got caned and most of the boys in his school... but never him...It took me hours intergorating him asking why was he been caned? Only when I threat him that I'll asked his teacher, he told me that he was talking while the teacher was teaching... Remembering that, I was proud of him.. He didn't tell me it was anybody fault, he took it as a gentle-boy..

My boy, he grew up fast.. He learned his one-two-three. He still have difficulties counting satu-dua-tiga. He picking up on his ABCs. He'll be going to school again next year.. don't ask me where as I'm yet to decide where will I be next year... Still living in this small town of Kemamang, or perhaps back to KL (still hoping since the day I decided to move here..)... or might even be Brazil.. chewah..

Thursday, November 12, 2009

..and so, I said hello..

I love talking, almost about everything..and of course, as a passionate mum, a loyal wife, a good gossip girlfriend, a so-so sister, a 'crazy' cousin, a dotting daughter and as an employee... I have so many things to talk about...

I love writing.. I was supposed to be a professor bahasa when I grew up... It didn't turn up as I wish.

I've been a great follower of Red Scoot blog.. and the fact that she's in my BFF list may more or less contributes to that loyalty .. but, when in future, and as we are still reading this first post of mine, I shall thank her for the inspiration. She got more excited than I am when I told her I'm starting my own blog.. The "Classy Chatty Chic" got her blessing...

So, How do I start, Where do I begin, What should I ramble about, Who should read this blog of mine.. we'll just see..

.. as for now, I am saying Hello to the world.. (ok, perhaps a bit too ambitious.. should dedicate this just to my circle of friends instead addressing it to the world..)