miss independent

hmm..

my lunch buddy aka my friend of thirteen years was telling me, no matter what, how, who, where and when, never show your significant one that you are independent. that's what the book said! and that's totally right.

considering at my current condition, i would say 'i was too late'.. he was so comfortable for me being independent, the boat has sailed away and not turning back. honk! honk! 

not that i'm complaining. i'm ok with the arrangement. i don't think i am 100% independent neither am 100% clingy. things i would depend on him 100%.. financial, hands-on DIY, cars, electrical stuff and many more.. and there were stuff i would just do it myself. there were occasions i just have to 'accidentally' be independent.. cases such as i was on labour, the first time and the second time.. he wasn't able to be around, and i just have to push those kiddos away! all these while, we are so used to and comfortable with long-distance relationship. when we first met, he was in london while i was in manchester. we spend weekends away, short breaks and not most of the time. then, i came back to malaysia while he finished his final year in UK.. (and went to Amsterdam without me!yup, i just want to brought that up for no reason..) as he come back to malaysia, he was in kemaman and i was in kl.. until we got married, i got knocked up and as our first-born arrived, i moved to kemaman. still, he was on offshore assignment.. forthnightly.. and a year and half ago (or has it been two years?), he's been off-Brazil-shore while i'm back here on-Malaysia-shore.. on monthly routine. hence, being away, i guess, i'm so used to be independent. but, to think back, i wasn't hundred percent  independent.. he may be out of sight, but not really out of reach. hence, i would always consult him before i would do or decide for anything.

my good friend has to check-in to the hospital by herself, with a limped (i guess) leg as she was due for some operation on her knee (was it the knee?).. she's what i call independent.. of course, i checked in to the emergency ward myself at midnight when i was badly attacked by hyper-emesis two months ago. i felt so alone, but i have no choice as i really need medical attention, while aimar was bedded at ward 6a (ggod that my parents were around to look after him). thanks to the iphone bought by my hubby, i shot an email to him, and he called immediately. of course the conversation was brief as i was 'busy' vomitting... but, to know he called, and to know that he cared (very much indeed) was soothing.. and i know i need him at that mo, and i'm not that strong to call myself an independent woman!