letting go

it's mid april, and i've been sending aidan off to his school every morning, without fail. yesterday, as i hold his hand to climb that stairs to his school, he stopped me. that stairways really took forever to climb, and its still early in the morning. he told me, 'mama, you can just send me here. aidan naik atas sendiri'.. of course i ignored his request, and still too early to have a debate with a seven yo boy! this morning, after sending him as usual, as i walked to where i parked my car, i stumbled. i was wondering, one day, i won't need to send him off. i just have to make a pit stop, drop him, he'll rush to that stairs and gone. if i'm lucky, he'll kiss me goodbye or at least look at me. that if i'm lucky. and i hope he'll be that good son as he'll always be so that he won't wait and skived school for the day........... but this is not happening tomorrow la kan... i wonder how will i feel when the day comes. will i be sad and feel unneeded? will i feel relieved as he becomes an independent boy? will i be constantly worried not trusting every step he made without my supervision..... aggghhhh... being a mum it's not easy. i know, i have to swallow what becomes him. as much as i would be sad to let go, my mum let me go and see where i am now......the thing is, time not only flies, it slide faster than a speed of light!