Thursday, September 13, 2012

she's one

last year, at this time, i most probably was either lying in front of the tv, or driving from kg baru to sri ukay as i was already on leave, awaiting for the baby in my belly to 'standby' to see the world within a week time. the estimated due date was 21st september 2011. my hubby was supposed to come back from the offshore on the 15th september 2011.. 16th september 2011 would be the malaysia day, and we were scheduled to meet up with our gynae on the 17th september 2011.

that was the plan!

we heard it often and we heard it again and again and again.. we can plan, but who are we to decide our faith! last year, on this day, i was heavily pregnant and very determined to have my husband around for during the labour.. yup, i was!very determined! we were... both of us. my hubby was at the karak highway toll when my i called him and told him the baby was out the first time around. he was three days late when our second son came to the world. and he'd better be there for the third time, especially when this was the worst pregnancy phase i've gone through in my life and i do not plan (again, am just planning) to have more babies after this.

nope, we planned and failed miserably. it was 14th september, right after asar, around 5pm. i was lying on my lazy back in sri ukay, in front of the tv, and aimar was joining me, sharing the pillow, trying to watch what i was watching on the tv. somehow, i felt something 'plop' out from my body. nope, no pain, no anything.. just 'plop' of clear fluid that made me wonder for a few secs before i called out my heavily pregnant sister. yup, my sister was pregnant too and her due date was supposed to be a week earlier than me. i was like 'o, darn!'.. my sister was pregnant and about due too, my boys were just kids of 6 and 4 years old, and my hubby was not due to be onshore in 24 hours.. to add the gist in the drama, my parents were away in bangkok and will only be back two days after, and my gynae was on his way back from italy and will only be in klia in the next twelve hours! and there i saw, a small pool of water - sign of me in labour...

my sister was asking me in her panicky voice "what now?" and my dear aidan in his calm voice was asking me "nak kene call 999 ke mama?"...

i didn't feel any pain.. not like before. when i was due for aidan, i was having bad stomachache for three hours straight. and when i was due for aimar, i was having bad stomach cramp for half hour. this time, i was just fine.. even after the water broke, i was fine. i calm yeen down, asked her to drive me to the hospital, carried the bag that i've prepared and asked the boys to come with us to the hospital. on our way, i called my hubby, feeling sad as there's another big possibility that he'll miss the labour! while driving, my sister was calling everybody in kg baru telling that kakak is due for labour... you'll never imagined how panic everybody was! as we reached gleaneagles, the concierge got really confused.. two heavily pregnant ladies, came out from the car in rush... who's in labour and who's not? he was ready to push my sister who has a bigger tummy than me, and she was screaming "nope, not me, my sis is in labour"..

and next, it was history... i was in the labour room around 5:45 pm. the matron was telling me i was 8cm dilating!!! i told her i need my sister's gynae to attend to me, and my sister's gynae was soo confused. she thought my sister was due for her labour when she heard our dad's name was mentioned, but when she saw me, she thought it was a mixed up. when we briefly told her, she was telling me "ok, everything will be fine"..

my cousins and aunts were there. the labour wing of the hospital was filled with the clan! i was still sad.. of course it was in pain, but, i can still feel the sadness for not being able to have my husband around. my dear mamiton and cakya were in the room.. as i screamed in pain, they just couldn't hide their concerned face. when i was not in contraction, i remember asking them "nanti duduk sama dengan ain bila nak beranak nanti yek".. at that time, my sister and cousins has shooed my boys away. my sister couldn't bear hearing me screaming "adoooiii".. to think back, i could hardly remember how the pain was like. it was painful. it was cramps, aches and all at once.. it comes from the stomach and all the way to the back. i was so nausea. i was on the O2 most of the times... and just couldn't stop from berwirid and berdoa hoping everything goes well. yup, feels like half dead and all i was praying for was the baby is fine. about an half hour after in the room, the gynae came again. she's been paged. i was 10cm dilating and ready to push the baby out. i remember clearly.. i was asked to push once, and relaxed and the next time around, i was asked to push twice all out.. and that was it! less than five minutes, all gone. mamiton was helping me so much by holding my hands tightly. i still wish it was my hubby's hand... dah tu..nak buat camne, dah takde rezeki!mamiton was telling me "mamiton nampak baby tu 'melompat' keluar".. it was a lifetime experience to her..the baby, she was not crying... until the gynae clear her throats and she cried.. she was my chest, and i cried. the gynae was impressed.. "takde luka, so i do not have to jahit anything".. tu dia... the baby, she was a small baby.. 2.74kg. and she's a she!!! finally, after two boys, i really need some dash of pink in my babies wardrobe!

that nite, i was left alone with the baby. the hospital did not have a single bedroom and so i have to share the room with four others. as the room was on sharing basis, no guests were allowed to sleep in and accompany me. so, it was only me and baby. i cried. as much as i happy that i was blessed with beautiful healthy baby girl, i was sad of what happened. my husband didn't make it, my mum was away and my gynae was not around ( i remember telling the nurse "dr aziz will be in klia at 9pm, i can wait" and the nurse gave me a puzzled look).. and now, i have to stay all alone sharing room with strangers who babies cried in the middle of night! of course my little princess was kind to me. all she did was sleep and once while came for feeding. i was tired, so the nurse took the baby away so that i could rest.

the next day, at 4pm, i started to fell edgy and mad. i yelled at the nurse asking for a good single bed room as i couldn't stand sharing room. i got the room, and my hubby came right after i've checked in to the single bed room...

and all was fine.

so, tomorrow, mark a 365 days of aivey celebrating her life. sayang, mama aboh loves you so much.. orang cakap, anak ni rezeki.. one thing that i noticed, with you around, our love with each other become stronger, and you are a reminder how much we were crazy about each other and still am! you are the rezeki and blessing from allah to us. with two abang being soooo protective, and of course they bully you too.. i'm sure you'll grow up fine.. oh ya, with your one-and-a-half day younger cousin (yup, my sister gave birth 36 hours after that..must be traumas and screaming she heard from the labour room earlier!).. you'll cherish life just fine.

it took two weeks for mama and aboh to come to an agreement with your name.. as much as i love aivey, i don't favour adela as much. but then again, aivey adela binti mohd ashraf fits your puurrrffecctly..

happy 1st birthday, dear.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

all i want

what a woman wants? men find it difficult to get an answer to that question. we women want a pandora which is classy but also gold bracellet which is a lifetime investment. we women want that jimmy choo shoe that cost three month of our hubby's salary and that is during sale but we can also make do of just the same design but much more comfortable and obviously will take up only ten percent of your monthly income. we women want that peaceful long hours shopping spree in peace but will still calm home to remind the kids its nap time. the list is endless and yup we women will always find conflicts within ourselves to justify the list. we stand by the argument what we want is what we need.

lately, my dear hubby made all the effort beyond his reach to show his tlc. trust me, after twelve years of knowing him and after eight years of marriage, i'm ok with our couple life. there were times i felt like kicking him off the bed when he just refused to wake up and it's already past lunch time. there were times i felt like cursing him when he asked me to do things he knew i don't like to do. but now that i'm reflecting, i can't thank allah enough for temukan jodoh kami berdua. he told me he misses me. he told me he loves me. he told me he can never had enough of my smile. he told me he likes to see me waving at him. he told me he needs me. he told me he wants to be selfish and he just wants me all by himself.

and after eight years of marriage, i know he never change, the same boy i was smitten by, the same gentleman i was head over feet for, the same knight of my shining armour..

when it's been quite some time being with each other, i thought i'm stuck with him.. and that's a scary thought. but then again, that was not me thinking. i know all i want is him for the rest of my life.

i want him to keep on missing me, loving me, kissing me, hugging me, thinking of me, caring for me, asking me how my days go, oogling and looking at me, idolizing the ground i walk on.. i want him to keep telling me it's me that all he ever wished for and his wish came true. i know mine did.

what a woman want? everything, and that constant consistent tlc is more than any woman can ask for..

love you, abang

Sunday, September 2, 2012

selamat puasa, selamat raya, selamat kawen, selamat anniversary,selamat merdeka

well, definitely been missing a lot in updating stuff in this blog.

aidan, alhamdullillah, successfully gone thru the fasting month for 22 full days despite the tantrums he threw on the first day of ramadhan. he's a strong boy that elder son of me. when it was hot and he's been playing jumping and running and look so tired, i did tempt him to break his fast.. but he didn't.. and i was the proud mum of him.

aimar was fasting too.. for a solid eight days. tho he asked me how much longer he has to wait for every five minutes, but i'm still the proud mum of him.

aivey, i was supposed to update on her two teeth that was protruding. but that was ancient history. at times of writing this, she has two bottom teeth and two upper teeth. as iris started running at her early stage, aivey darling still grasping for support to walk. of course, his aboh was determined for her to walk before she's one. he will hold her hand and stroll along withher. last two days, aivey made her first few baby steps..

it was a good raya. of course the drama was demn dramatic. we mislooked and left all five of our baju raya. we only realized it when we were in kemaman. of course there's no other alternative that my dear hubby has proposed to drive back to kl. i cried of the thoughts of last minutes shopping raya in the store, kemaman.. and i must thank my sis and cousin who helped to find a stranger who i owe a lot who was on his way back to dungin. hubby drove up to dungun to pickup and our morning raya was flawless..

ok i spare the anniversary story on my next posting