cries

i cried in my prayers today.

i just feel like missing, but i didn't know what and why.

it's just the sudden of a moment.

i cried for i felt panic for aidan.

he'll be representing his school for the arabic speech tomorrow.

he has been practising it since two weeks ago.

there were twelve pages of B5 size.

he memorized five pages, he can read fluently the last three pages and he is still grabbing for the balance four pages. 

he doesn't have much time and i've been pushing him too much 'coz i know he could do better.

fact was, he volunteered to present the speech.

he said no one would want so he volunteered himself.

and now, he regretted his move.

he felt like pulling out.

and of course i would discourage him to do that.

i'm in doubt. should i been doing the 'right thing'; encourage him to do things he is not interested to do?
...
i cried while i was driving yesterday.
i just feel like missing but i didn't know what and why.
it's just the sudden of a moment.

i cried for i just missed working in the office.
i saw the girls crossed by, going to their office, i presumed.
and here i was, sending off my hubby and free to roam while the kids at school.
and i don't know where to go to, and no friend to go with.
i miss office.
i miss having breakfast with the girls and talk about that weird management's moves.
and i envied my hubby as he got to join his colleague on the sports' events that his company is having this coming saturday.
that would be fun.
i'm in doubt. i am much happier not working rather than stressing of things that don't matters in the office, and so, why must i cry?
...
i cried thinking of my parents.
i miss having a sleep over at their place, my home.
time seems never at my side nowadays.
things with the kids, my own health and well-being, the ironing and so forth.
even time to have breakfast with them are limited.
i miss them.
i cried for i felt so guilty.
i was lonely, and i knew they are too, once a while,