Saturday, June 3, 2017

yes, it's personal

salam sir,
it has been 72 hrs, and i thought i could put everything in peace, and i failed.
i couldn't.
therefore, i'm writing this note to you.
for whatever we've done to you, please forgive us.
yes, as much as we tried to understand what major sins has been committed to the extent he was dismissed, we still couldn't compute on the decision made.
yes, he did wrong. he was late, always.
yes, he missed the submission.he failed submitting the respond in due time.
yes, the decision was not made by you alone. you do not have the authority to decide all by yourself.

but sir, i wonder, was it so severe that he had to be dismissed immediately, being humiliated to that extent, for all that he's done? did make the company loss so much business and profits? has he hurt anyone, especially you, to the extent you hate him so much?
he has his troubles.
i wish he could be more expressive and share it to everyone.
but, being that hard-headed man, i know he won't.

dear sir,
i wonder if you anyone closer to you, to be exact, anyone who is under your amanah, being diagnosed with cancer?
i'm not trying to buy any sympathy.. we don't need any.
in fact, as i'm writing this, i wish you highlight, this means no business, and yes, it's personal.
he didn't knew i'm writing this and please don't put more blame on him.
he was just a man who is 18 years younger than you, jobless, just because he did not submit few pages of his clarifications to defend himself when he had the chance. He definitely a good husband, he is now so distraught for having a sick wife who is not working and three little children who are still at school and need to be feed, take care of and love for. back to cancer, did you know that although he was the first Asian who was given the responsibility as the Supt in the 1st Deepwater FPSO in Asia, he didn't get much recognition on that achievement? I didn't understand how can the Company trust him so much that the Company could give him that post... On the other hand, did you know, when he got the job, he so much under stress. That was the year his wife was diagnosed of having cancer. That was the year he flunked his appraisal after decades in his careers. He has always been a nerdy in school and university and work. But, his wife had cancer, and we were only in our mid 30s.
Alhamdullillah, thanks to Petronas, the treatment was all paid for. Alhamdullillah, his wife recovered after 8x chemo and 33x radiotherapy. She lost 30kg and she was too skinny bone and too tired to work. We opted for her not to work during the remission. It's our 4th year of remission now. Did you know, when his wife no longer working with Petronas, she was no longer having her own medical insurance and depending on his? Did you know that she did not have any other insurance before that and too late to have a personal insurance now for cancer has always been a 'death penalty' to the patients? Did you know that remission doesn't mean you are going to be healthy all the time? Did you know that the chemo drug kills all the cell in her bodies and she is now recovering with such a horrifying side effect? Did you know that the head and neck radiotherapy kills her normal hearing, that she could hardly hear lots of things and need a lot of patience for people to deal with her? She also do not have enough saliva as her saliva gland was severely burnt due to the chemo, did you know?
Enough about cancer... it's just that it wasn't you that give us the cancer. But I just wish that you could understand, when his wife was not well, most of the time, he was the only adult in the house (and has to go to work), making sure everything is run normally and smoothly. That includes managing the kids schooling, the food and so forth. Did you know he was juggling in between time. Yes, you are right. it was none of your business. He should have been smart enough to manage to handle his personal life. He failed the company and it was him to be at fault (really?how thoughtful the company is). But, please agree with me, he is a good husband and a good father. And I bet, you are a good husband and a good father too... otherwise, at the age of 58, you won't be bothering to work and disciplining others, if you do not have children to feed on. Or maybe my assumption was wrong.
dear sir, if only you know how he tried writing up that summary and respond to your letter! If only you know. It was a mess sir! He didn't sleep..not at all.. He didn't sleep, not one or two nights in a row... he didn't sleep eight nights in a row.. at least, that's the longest I managed to keep track on. he was on his laptop, on that word files, editing and amending it over and over again. It was a horrible arguments we had when I asked him to just submit whatever.. and being an oddly perfectionist (which he denies my :)), he failed to submit anything. and yes, it was not your fault sir. but I just wish if you knew.
and on wednesday, when you were so proud on the decision you made, when you were so firm with the decision you held on, i wonder, did you know, that man who is 18 years younger than you is out of work while you are still working... i wonder, did you know he has mouth to feed.. and i bet, just like you, you are working to feed your wife and children.. but unlike you, he is not working..

dear sir, it is not your fault and i'm not pointing fingers on you.. he told me it was not your faults... ada hikmah Allah has arranged beautifully.

but sir, i just want to know? if that's how an HR head thinks the best to disciplining a person, does it really work? Does it give you the satisfaction sir? Does it give you such a great achievement that you can be proud of sir? Does it fair enough rather than other method like demotion and many other option? Does it fulfilled your satisfaction for having such penalty on a person who was clueless what DI was, how it should be conducted and failing to adhere or even requested for extension in a proper manner?

sir, have him and his family done so many wrongs to you that you hate us so much? forgive him and forgive us.
but please know, he hasn't been sleeping for months now. please pray that he's okay.

dear sir, forgive me for this writing, it supposed to be just a few lines of notes. i just want to know what sin has he made that the only option is to dismissed him immediately, as if he was born with no dignity. apparently, i wrote too much. but i wonder sir, did you ever think how it felt to be in this man shoe? the shoe you've done some damage on.

thank you sir. may allah bless you and your family.

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