13 tahun kawin! Love is in the air..wuuhuu

We will be married for 13 years this Sunday the 20th.
Subhanallah... times flies, huh?  Well, obviously!
You told me masa kecoh-kecoh Nora Danish kawin ngan laki dia and they were big hu-ha about them french kissing.."eleh, 13 thn dulu, nyaris2 ada celebrity kawin kat Masjid Kg Baru nak buat gitu gak. Nasib baik pakcik bini dia cepat-cepat potong, pesang, kiss kat dahi je, bukan kat mulut!"..hahahah...melampau sungguh aksi 18SG!

I have so many things to write about us. I want to talk about love, but I don't want to lie.
Yesterday, as I was reading the FB post shoutouts, I came across to one post, a friend I never met, but I knew she's a good person, a good girl with good heart and full of determination.
She has been in and out of love.
And still struggling looking for love.
She is still young, and I know, love will surely come to her, in a matter of time, in a matter of place.
At least, that's my silent prayer to her. Ameen.

Dah tua-tua ni, banyak cerita tentang cinta.

Yang teraniaya kerana cinta.
Yang tertipu ditipu menipu.
Yang tertinggal ditinggal meninggal.
But one thing for sure, no matter how tired, how 'lelah' and 'serik' one is because of love, we still fall in and out of love; because love is addictive!

Harapan kita, cinta itu biarlah yang indah.
Lukisan minda kita, cinta itu harus yang manis.
Impian kita, cinta itu melodinya terlalu amat merdu.

Dan kita tahu, itu bukan cinta.
...
I've been in and out of love. Alhamdullilah.
and of all, I thank Allah untuk jodoh orang Kemamang ini.
nope, he's not perfect. and who said I am?
nope, we are not all happy and laugh all the time, but is there any couple who do?
nope, he's not a romantic type of a guy who expressed sweet words to her wife, unless he wants something out of it lah kan... but look at me, the best i could think for our anniversary gift is this blog.. hahahahaha... who cares about romantic candle dinner and great gifts...
we are a bunch of people who called ourselves 'spontaneous' but we both knew we just don't give a heck!

Nope, am not going to lie.
We had our fights..
We ended up with apologizing and promise not to fight again.
And then, there we were in that heated battlefield.

but one thing for sure, I love him. I love him, lillahitaala and I love that feeling.
I remembered the first time I called him all the way from Scotland and he was in London.
(ok, here we goes, reminiscing all the courting moments...  takpelah, takyah citer lah..citer tu tak berubah)
and I'm glad I made that call.

Few days ago, he was rushing and honked the rude motorist that got on his way.
I told him to chill.. 'Biarlah kat dia. Kita mana boleh nak dapat yang best sokmo'
"Eh,  I always wanted the best! That's why I have you!"
Untuk couple yang baru tiga bulan bercinta, that will be the sweetest ever.
Untuk couple yang dah lima enam tahun bercinta, that will be like 'aggghhhh'..melting.
Untuk couple yang nak masuk tiga belas tahun berkahwin (17 tahun bercinta), I was sceptical... he gave me that look 'see, I still GOT it' and smile, and I was like 'whatever'..but trust me, deep insideI am jumping for joy and I knew though he seems to joke around, I knew, ada ikhlas dalam ayat bangga diri tu.

Alhamdullillah..
Makin lama kenal, makin lama tahu dan masak dengan perangai masing-masing.
I told he was harsh with the kids, and he would respond "nanti manje marah anak2, abang record kasik manje dengar how 'lembut' you are"
I told him he was so berlagak (and I meant he was so egoistic and I knew he didn't pick up that and would argue after reading this post), and he was right to argue "dok pikir salah orang, manje punya keras hati keras kepala tu tak ingat?" and he was not at fault at all.
Gaduhlah macammana pun, one thing for sure, he would still call 'manje'...
The name that was accidentally mocked by my good friend, "acap panggil ko manje?" and we were like "mana ada oi! ko salah dengar lah!" dan lekat sampai hari ini.
I told aivey once "Aivey ni manjelah!".."No I'm not, you are mama! That's what aboh called you!"
maka, sayalah yang yang manje :)

Lillahitaala...
Dulu, I kept telling him, I love him sebab Allah. But I realized, bila gaduh, abis roboh terbakar rumah kereta semua! Who am I kidding..dok kerana Allah tapi bergaduh lupa diri. Sebok dok doa 'Ya Allah teraniayanya aku!"
Hari ni, as I'm posting this, I don't dare tell him that..
But I'm so much happier to tell myself, I love him for Allah.
I realized, I never told myself that before.
And I told myself now, bila ada berasa hati, Allah lah tempat tuju saya. Allah lah tempat rujukan apa salah dosa saya. Allah lah tempat saya pohon kasik abang dan saya lembut hati dan tak keras kepala (manjelah tu).
Itu cinta kerana Allah.
Perempuan ini, nak masuk syurga, mudah yang amat. Taat Allah dan Rasul SAW. Dengar cakap suami. Jaga pakai, makan sendiri, jangan sampai difitnah, jaga aib suami. Itu je!
Bila bergaduh, mesti kita ni para isteri rasa Ya Allah, kenapa aku harus taat pada dia? Dia seorang yang tidak adil!
Astaghfirullah..
Asik kita akur fitnah syaitan. Memang kerja syaitan menghasut.
Ingatlah, Allah tak pernah menganiaya satu jisim makhluk pun! Yang menganiya itu, kita sendiri! Allah cakap dah dalam Quran "Wanita baik dengan lelaki yang baik, wanita jahat dengan yang jahat"
Kalau kita rasa jahat sungguh lah laki kita, mungkin kita nak tengok balik mana letaknya baik kita.

Nope, I'm not telling all ladies out there to just comply. Memang ada lelaki jahat yang pedajal wanita baik.

But always believe, Allah Wujud.
Dan semua yang Allah tentukan, pastinya yang terbaik untuk kita.
...

Suami saya, dia bukanlah maksum, tapi rezeki saya dia tak zalim.
Suami saya, dia tak romantik, tapi rezeki saya dia mengaku " Kawin lain?  Bukan sebab abg tak boleh berlaku adil dengan manje, abang tak boleh berlaku adil kat diri abang sendiri, macam mana abang nak adil dengan bini banyak? Yang sorang ni pun dah serabut kepala."... dan itu dah cukup romantik untuk bini dia :)
Suami saya, dia macam tak 'caring' dan tak cara hal, tapi alhamdulillah.. cukup lengkap perfect semua makan pakai fizikal emotional spiritual saya..dan itu, katanya bukan tanggungjawab, itu hak bini dia dan dia wajib isi semua selengkapnya.

Suami saya, anugerah Allah.
Allah bukan sesaja perintah Nabi SAW suruh ajar kita kaum wanita jangan lawan cakap suami... sebab Allah janji, ikut cakap laki, Aku jaga hak kamu.. Yanf berjanji itu Allah SWT..bukan manis mulut si lelaki itu!
Alhamdullillah.
Sujud.

...
Abang,

Makin tua ni, makin tetiba tak pandai berjiwang.
Still, till today,
I'm glad that you still hug and kiss me whenever whereever, even when anak2 are around.
I'm thankful that you still the one I want to rant and talk about nothing and everything.
I'm smiling for this feeling of us having each other beyond all
Alhamdulillah

Thank you for the love, the past 17 years and more..
Till jannah..
bukan sekadar lirik lagu ..
Itu Doa!

Jika kau selam hati iniPastinya engkau kan mengertiBetapa sucinya cintakuJangan diragu
Jika kau rasa getarnyaDebaran kasih cinta yang merontaNilai kasihku padamuCukup berharga